First Class

We went to our first "prepared childbirth" class at Hoag Hospital on Tuesday. This is the place where we will have our baby. Hooray for ocean views while I'm pushing!

:-)

So back to the class. Basically, they go through what to expect when you begin labor and all the different stages. Then they tell you what will happen when you get to the hospital, etc. Finally at the end we began to learn some breathing exercises while our partner massages us.

I thought the class was pretty good. I know most of it, but then again I've been reading like every baby book under the sun, doing a bunch of research online and talking to people who have had babies at Hoag recently. So for me the breathing exercises were new and also the fact that I get my own room to have the baby in (hooray! I have a sailor's mouth. Which means i curse up a storm when I'm in pain or pissed off...so a private room for me is GOOD).

As for the men in the room. Let's just say that you can tell NOT ONE of them read the baby books and they all got their information from hearsay. Imagine a room where women pulled gum out of their mouths or twisted their hair on the end of their finger tips in boredom, while the men sat in awe with their eyeballs popping out of their heads. The top 3 topics that most men seemed to be concerned about:

1. When do i need to rush home from work?

2. Will my wife defecate all over herself?

3. What do i do if she doesn't want me to touch her?

I guess this is why women give birth. Whoever or whatever created us knew that we'd be doing all the research and preparation for this big event.

Disclaimer: My eyes did pop out of my head when she had us look down at our name tags (which were large round circles, the size of a bagel) and said: "Your name tag is 10cm dilated." I did swallow a lump in my throat. Its so different reading it and measuring it on a ruler vs. someone showing you a visual (I literally had a cervix pinned to me. Yeah, it would freak you out too!). As for my wonderful husband, Matt, he did very well. Some eyeball poppage but only at the biggies.

We shall see how how class number two goes next week! :-)

Baby's First Flight

Well we made it to and from Utah in one piece! Just an FYI for everyone out there. Don't get on the small planes. I could barely shut the door to go to the bathroom! Not to mention there was only ONE bathroom.

Anyway...

Nephews wedding weekend went off without a hitch. It was great to see everyone and hang out with my family. Since we are all so spread apart its not so easy to get together, but when we do...it's nothing but parties! No really. The last couple of times I was in Utah was for a celebration of some sort. Maybe we should just go up there to hang out for a change...what a novel concept!

Friday:

We landed, got collected by my brother-in-law and posse. I suspect they were just riding along for the promised Cevapi but they claim that that wasn't the case :-) sure sure...

First stop was an AMAZING deli in downtown Salt Lake called Caputos. This deli has the best sandwiches i've ever had on the west coast. Oh and did i mention that the portions mostly fed everyone (all the Amazons plus Geoff, Matt and myself), with the exception of my 7 foot tall nephew who ate our pesto salad and my other nephews left over baclava. This place is a must for anyone going to the area.

Second stop was Decades, a vintage shop so Matt could do some shopping/work. He bought two pairs of pants that have a really cool design on them.

Third stop was my sisters house. Yay! Home! (My feet were the size of melons by this point). We basically just hung out here the rest of the day and helped my sister get set-up for the rehearsal dinner at her house the following day.

Saturday:

Woke up and had breakfast with my sister's mom (Jasna) and step-dad (Miro). Matt found a new soccer buddy for the next time we go to Europe. Matt and Miro probably talked about soccer for a good 1 1/2 hours...maybe more. Jasna and I were trying to follow along but pretty much gave up part way through and drank our Turkish coffee instead. Men and their soccer.

In the afternoon Jared (the one getting married) and Ira (his soon-to-be-wife) had their Yale friends over at my sisters house for some food and hangouts. In between helping Miro on the grill Matt would run over and play this bean bag game with my nephews. I made an attempt and sorely sucked at it so i went back in the house to the "woman's work." :-) Hey, somebody had to try all the desserts and food and make sure it wasn't poisonous!

Saturday night, got to meet all of Ira's family from all over the world. Albania, Netherlands, Massachusetts, etc. Everyone had a good time and the food was mostly gone, which is always a good sign! After dinner, my littlest nephews and niece and her man Geoff began shooting off fireworks for us. It was so nice just sitting in the front yard with no one else around having your own private 4th of July show!

Sunday:

Wedding day! Everyone was running around like chickens with their heads cut off - except for matt and myself of course. All we had to do was just show up right? WRONG. I had to cut out little tent cards with peoples names on them and then fold the cards as well without smearing the ink. Oh well. i was the only person in the house with enough patience to sit there and make it perfect.

Here's a brief overview of the rest of the day...

drive, sit around, wedding ceremony, wedding hors d' oeuvres, pictures, wedding reception, food, more food, and some more food, first dance, everyone dancing and leaving.

Two things i am proud of on Sunday. I didn't look too huge in my dress, in fact i think i looked pretty good for being prego. second, i played match maker with one of Ira's cousins and my nephew. I feel so accomplished. :-)

Monday:

Leave for airport. so sad to go. wanted to stay another week and just hang out.

got home and slept for the majority of the day. I think we had pizza and frozen yogurt in there somewhere but i really don't remember i was so tired.

Another fantastic mini-vacation that you wish you could extend and make it into a longer vacation...oh well. At least we got some pictures...

Matt and I before the wedding started. I look very puffy in all these pics. My puffyness has calmed down since I got home...thank god!

During reception...I think Matt has had two beers by this picture. Look at that smile! Someone is definitely having fun!!

My beautiful niece Ashley and her giant brother Justin. Jordan is somewhere chatting it up with the ladies. He didn't have any time for my pictures... :-)

The beautiful couple, Jared Hamilton and Ira Baci (now Hamilton). Matt and I made sure we clanked our glasses A LOT. Hey, payback is a bitch...

Again, my gorgeous niece Ashley and pregnant me. Still puffy... ;-)

My nephew Justin and my brother Nick. Can you tell which one is the college Freshman? :-)

(I think Jordan is in the background of this one chatting it up with...a girl of course!)

Egg

I'm in the home stretch. 3rd trimester just began this week. I love my doctor comment, "Congrats you're almost there. But now you are really going to get uncomfortable with back aches and swelling and...well maybe i shouldn't go into all the gory details. But some good news is is that you passed your diabetes test with flying colors!" Well thank the lord Dr. Kroll! If I had to drink that Orange crap again I was going to make Matt carry our child to full term. Which brings me to my next point...

Why can't we lay an egg like birds? Wouldn't that be awesome? I could just pop out a little egg and then put it in a nest and in a few months...poof! A baby emerges with a little hammer and chisel in his hand (how else is he going to break out people?). Ahh. If only...

Or we could go the way of the Emperor Penguin. I lay the egg and then my husband carries it around on his feet through the winter, while i go off and basically eat myself silly. Hmm...i don't think i thought that one out all the way...

No no. I like the bird idea, except maybe sitting on the egg part. What if i squish him? He's so tiny right now. My kid would come out looking like a pancake.

Darn. I think i just slowly realized that laying, sitting and walking around with eggs all day isn't feasible. Bummer.

Hemorrhoids and heartburn here I come! :-)

In The Stars

Well it's in the stars.  I don't know what I was freaking out about but according to the BabyCenter.org Horoscope, Matt and I will be AWESOME parents!  Aren't we so lucky to know all of this ahead of time?  I guess you all can come visit before we send Little B off to college :-)  

Please Please Read on... (Keep in mind: I'm a Capricorn and Matt's a Taurus)

You two make a dedicated and practical parenting team, clear about the ways in which you will raise your children, and firm in your conviction that your offspring will amount to something (he better! I'm saving up for Harvard ok). With a work ethic like this, your sons and daughters will know what the rules are and that consequences will clearly follow if and when rules are broken (rubber hose or leather belt, you pick.  I'm kidding!). Of the two of you, the Taurus parent is more gentle and approachable, if perhaps a bit indulgent and a lot stubborn. The Capricorn parent, on the other hand, may be more worldly-wise and able to guide children through life's harder lessons (hmm, maybe I should figure out what lessons I've learned thus far...). 

One danger in this combination is the risk of placing more importance on money or work than on the family. At the end of the day, the people who will benefit most from your strength, determination, and devotion will be those who are closest to you. 

Phew.  OK.  So now that we know we will be able to guide our little man when he's older.  I guess I can check that off my list.

Now all I have to do is figure out what I need to get for the nursery...

(I'm thinking, what a wonderful occupation:  If someone could go and register for me - versus Matt and I standing in Babies R Us scratching our heads...I would definitely pay good money for that service!)  

Yuck in a Bottle

Or better yet - throw up in a bottle.  That's exactly what the orange-flavored glucola tastes like.  What is glucola and why do you have to drink it?  Well, OB's decided some years ago that ALL pregnant women should be tested for gestational diabetes between 24 - 28 weeks of pregnancy.  So even if your short or tall, heavy or skinny, history or no history of diabetes, all must be tested because surprisingly, people with no family history or the tell-tale signs of diabetes could have gestational diabetes.

And the story goes (in my head at least): a group of pregnant-women-hating MALE scientists got together and tried to come up with the nastiest tasting drink to give pregnant women everywhere and then of course the leader of this evil scientific cult decided to flavor this "cola" - ORANGE.  Now I ask you, what pregnant woman craves anything ORANGE-flavored in her pregnancy?  No one I've met!  We crave chocolate, Coca-Cola, cookies, cakes, Swedish Fish and ice cream!  None of which is flavored with ORANGE.

So here's my Friday.  Get up, go to work, attempt to concentrate, eat lunch (low in sugar of course) and then drink the ORANGE poison in five minutes flat.  Now mind you this is 10 fl.oz. of crap.  Basically you have to imagine yourself in Freshman year of college (sorry Mom and Dad, but every kid gets drunk their Freshman year) shooting some cheap tequila (minus the lime and salt) in a bar,dorm room, friend's house, where ever you happened to be, and drink this "glucola" stuff just like those shots.  Its painful, yet necessary.  So here I am about 10 minutes after lunch drinking my multiple shots of ORANGE glucola and wanting to throw-up and die at the same time.  After the last gulp I pour cold water down my throat, trying to soak up the toxic flavor while holding back my gag reflex.  Forty minutes after your drink the poison you must then rush to get your blood test.  So not only are you forced to drink this crap but then you have to go and endure a whole other torture just to complete, what should be, a simple test.

At the lab:  I get there and its the large fat woman behind the desk.  (Great.  She's the one that messed up my vein last time.)  I very sweetly ask if the other lady with blonde hair is in today and of course she's on break! (Why God Why?)  She then informs me to take a seat while she goes to set-up the torture chamber for her first victim, a little sweet old lady with tiny, very bruise-able arms.  Fat lady calls first victim to the chamber (Crap.  I'm next.  My veins begin to hide deep in my arms hoping to avoid the onslaught of the torture that she is SURE to provide).  Little old lady leaves, visibly shaken to her core - her arms will never be the same.  I'm next.  She rips my arm out of my socket, wraps the rubber band around my bicep and forces my veins to the surface.  She then pretends the needle is a javelin and throws it into my arm (dang she should have gone to Beijing last summer).  Two vials are drawn.  She then rips the needle out of my arm releasing a fountain of blood and then proceeds to put not one but two cotton balls on the gapping wound (because one can't stop this blood flow) and four pieces of tape (to hold my gushing vein in my arm) that could reach the end of lab, they are so long.  I literally sprinted out of there, unlocked my car, and didn't breathe until I was down the hill from Hoag Hospital and far far away from HER.

Somebody please tell me why I can't just eat a Snickers bar and then go pee in a cup?  

     

Yuck in a Bottle  &  The Wound

How Cute!

Went for my 24 week check up on Thursdy.  I'm officially at 6 months as of Labor Day!  Everything looks great.  According to the doctor, I'm "textbook pregnancy" :-)  So for all those people who are making me worry that I'm too small - silence is golden.  We also reconfirmed that we are indeed having a boy.  You can definitely tell without the technician pointing it out!  

Pregnancy Update:  slowly getting more and more uncomfortable.  Heartburn is a constant now, as are back pains.  I think the kid is using his kung-fu grip to squeeze one of my nerves that runs down my left leg.  It hurts to walk sometimes!  Bending over is getting to be a chore as well (I've never seen a pregnant woman with hairy legs...I wonder who's going to shave mine?  Oh Matty!  Where are you? hehehehe)  Anyway, the baby is kicking up a storm.  During the ultrasound we saw him drinking in fluid and getting the hiccups!  He was also sleeping while accomplishing this great feat - with his legs and arms over his head of course.  I wish you could all be at the ultrasound with us.  The pictures don't really do it justice.

Look!  I have my mom's nose!

I'm trying to sleep!

I can't stop hiccuping!

Yep.  Still a boy!

Uplifted

My spirits have been uplifted since my last post.  I have three words for you.

Isabella  -  Oliver  -   Maternity

I mean look at how LOVELY & ATTRACTIVE this dress is:

 She has this great philosophy of "wrapping."  So if you're a size four pre-pregnancy, you're still a size four in her line because you can loosen the wraps as you go.  Um can we say...genius!  Where's your wrapping Liz Lange?!

Anyway, enough of my new found designer (p.s. her clothes aren't cheap.  eBay folks.  eBay.).  Not much has been going on lately.  I did discover why all the baby books say to eat plenty of FIBER.  Let's just say that my pipes were finally cleaned out this morning after waiting for a few days.  :-)  (note to self: continue to purchase the fiber fruit bars from Trader Joe's).  

The little man is still kicking up a storm and its still really crazy to me because my moods totally have an affect on how he kicks.  For example: if I'm quiet and calm, he's playing dodge ball with his umbilical cord.  If I'm sad and moody, he's giving little tiny pokes, kind of like little hugs for me (that's my emotional brain thinking that.  he's probably just hiccuping).  If I'm pissed (such as when our idiot downstair neighbors left their sliding glass door open ALL NIGHT and their very large PIT BULL got out and decided he liked our house better...Matt opened the front door to a grey and white large dog on Saturday morning), the baby doesn't kick at all.  It makes you pause and think, "how is my reaction going to affect him?"  And thus the parenting starts...

P.S. no one is allowed to come over to our house to see the kid until I have this "parenting" thing under control...so basically no one will be allowed over until after he goes to college.  See you all in 2027! :-)