Yuck in a Bottle

Or better yet - throw up in a bottle.  That's exactly what the orange-flavored glucola tastes like.  What is glucola and why do you have to drink it?  Well, OB's decided some years ago that ALL pregnant women should be tested for gestational diabetes between 24 - 28 weeks of pregnancy.  So even if your short or tall, heavy or skinny, history or no history of diabetes, all must be tested because surprisingly, people with no family history or the tell-tale signs of diabetes could have gestational diabetes.

And the story goes (in my head at least): a group of pregnant-women-hating MALE scientists got together and tried to come up with the nastiest tasting drink to give pregnant women everywhere and then of course the leader of this evil scientific cult decided to flavor this "cola" - ORANGE.  Now I ask you, what pregnant woman craves anything ORANGE-flavored in her pregnancy?  No one I've met!  We crave chocolate, Coca-Cola, cookies, cakes, Swedish Fish and ice cream!  None of which is flavored with ORANGE.

So here's my Friday.  Get up, go to work, attempt to concentrate, eat lunch (low in sugar of course) and then drink the ORANGE poison in five minutes flat.  Now mind you this is 10 fl.oz. of crap.  Basically you have to imagine yourself in Freshman year of college (sorry Mom and Dad, but every kid gets drunk their Freshman year) shooting some cheap tequila (minus the lime and salt) in a bar,dorm room, friend's house, where ever you happened to be, and drink this "glucola" stuff just like those shots.  Its painful, yet necessary.  So here I am about 10 minutes after lunch drinking my multiple shots of ORANGE glucola and wanting to throw-up and die at the same time.  After the last gulp I pour cold water down my throat, trying to soak up the toxic flavor while holding back my gag reflex.  Forty minutes after your drink the poison you must then rush to get your blood test.  So not only are you forced to drink this crap but then you have to go and endure a whole other torture just to complete, what should be, a simple test.

At the lab:  I get there and its the large fat woman behind the desk.  (Great.  She's the one that messed up my vein last time.)  I very sweetly ask if the other lady with blonde hair is in today and of course she's on break! (Why God Why?)  She then informs me to take a seat while she goes to set-up the torture chamber for her first victim, a little sweet old lady with tiny, very bruise-able arms.  Fat lady calls first victim to the chamber (Crap.  I'm next.  My veins begin to hide deep in my arms hoping to avoid the onslaught of the torture that she is SURE to provide).  Little old lady leaves, visibly shaken to her core - her arms will never be the same.  I'm next.  She rips my arm out of my socket, wraps the rubber band around my bicep and forces my veins to the surface.  She then pretends the needle is a javelin and throws it into my arm (dang she should have gone to Beijing last summer).  Two vials are drawn.  She then rips the needle out of my arm releasing a fountain of blood and then proceeds to put not one but two cotton balls on the gapping wound (because one can't stop this blood flow) and four pieces of tape (to hold my gushing vein in my arm) that could reach the end of lab, they are so long.  I literally sprinted out of there, unlocked my car, and didn't breathe until I was down the hill from Hoag Hospital and far far away from HER.

Somebody please tell me why I can't just eat a Snickers bar and then go pee in a cup?  

     

Yuck in a Bottle  &  The Wound

How Cute!

Went for my 24 week check up on Thursdy.  I'm officially at 6 months as of Labor Day!  Everything looks great.  According to the doctor, I'm "textbook pregnancy" :-)  So for all those people who are making me worry that I'm too small - silence is golden.  We also reconfirmed that we are indeed having a boy.  You can definitely tell without the technician pointing it out!  

Pregnancy Update:  slowly getting more and more uncomfortable.  Heartburn is a constant now, as are back pains.  I think the kid is using his kung-fu grip to squeeze one of my nerves that runs down my left leg.  It hurts to walk sometimes!  Bending over is getting to be a chore as well (I've never seen a pregnant woman with hairy legs...I wonder who's going to shave mine?  Oh Matty!  Where are you? hehehehe)  Anyway, the baby is kicking up a storm.  During the ultrasound we saw him drinking in fluid and getting the hiccups!  He was also sleeping while accomplishing this great feat - with his legs and arms over his head of course.  I wish you could all be at the ultrasound with us.  The pictures don't really do it justice.

Look!  I have my mom's nose!

I'm trying to sleep!

I can't stop hiccuping!

Yep.  Still a boy!

Uplifted

My spirits have been uplifted since my last post.  I have three words for you.

Isabella  -  Oliver  -   Maternity

I mean look at how LOVELY & ATTRACTIVE this dress is:

 She has this great philosophy of "wrapping."  So if you're a size four pre-pregnancy, you're still a size four in her line because you can loosen the wraps as you go.  Um can we say...genius!  Where's your wrapping Liz Lange?!

Anyway, enough of my new found designer (p.s. her clothes aren't cheap.  eBay folks.  eBay.).  Not much has been going on lately.  I did discover why all the baby books say to eat plenty of FIBER.  Let's just say that my pipes were finally cleaned out this morning after waiting for a few days.  :-)  (note to self: continue to purchase the fiber fruit bars from Trader Joe's).  

The little man is still kicking up a storm and its still really crazy to me because my moods totally have an affect on how he kicks.  For example: if I'm quiet and calm, he's playing dodge ball with his umbilical cord.  If I'm sad and moody, he's giving little tiny pokes, kind of like little hugs for me (that's my emotional brain thinking that.  he's probably just hiccuping).  If I'm pissed (such as when our idiot downstair neighbors left their sliding glass door open ALL NIGHT and their very large PIT BULL got out and decided he liked our house better...Matt opened the front door to a grey and white large dog on Saturday morning), the baby doesn't kick at all.  It makes you pause and think, "how is my reaction going to affect him?"  And thus the parenting starts...

P.S. no one is allowed to come over to our house to see the kid until I have this "parenting" thing under control...so basically no one will be allowed over until after he goes to college.  See you all in 2027! :-)

Clothes

I have a bone to pick with all the woman out there that are designers - clothing designers.  We pregnant women are pissed that we are forced to wear baggy-tent-making-unattractive-clothes.  Why is it that every where I've shopped there is nothing but large baggy prego clothes.  Don't get me wrong, they have some t-shirts and tanks which is nice, but i can't wear any of it to work.  Example A:

Yesterday, I had a training class to go to with all the other benefits people in So Cal.  Afterwards we were going out for drinks and dinner (no I didn't drink!  But I did discover that if you mix cranberry juice and orange juice and a squeeze of lime...its fantastic!).  So here's me in the morning looking at what I currently have to choose from.  Jeans - ok good choice.  t-shirts - no.  tanks - no. and a "flowy, flowery" top - can we say old lady?  (they try to make it "modern" by giving it a v-neck cut, but really its still crap.  I ended up walking out of the house in a black and grey stripped sweater and jeans.  I looked like a blimp.  Ok maybe not a blimp - but i didn't feel like myself.  I don't need to look sexy or anything, but attractive would be kind of nice, especially before i have spit up all over my clothes :-)

So I ask you Donatella Versace, Donna Karan, Viviene Westwood, Vera Wang, etc...you guys want to pitch in and help out the prego clothing designers?  We really could use a little "pick-me-up" in the prego clothing realm.  I don't think woman will stop having babies anytime soon so let's hurry up and get a move on!

Disclaimer: I'm feeling slightly blue (I hear that can happen) and I literally have nothing to wear to go and hang out with my girlfriends tonight.  Thus my sappy, poor me post.  I promise to uplift the spirits in a couple of days... 

Happy Pregnant Mother's Day!

Some facts we do know abut this past Mother's Day:

1. I am pregnant in this photo (even though everyone keeps saying I don't look pregnant, I assure you, I am.)

2. My pregnant mind didn't even realize Matt and I were both wearing shades of purple, until I saw this photo collage.

3. We both have not showered in this picture.  We woke up at 8:30am and needed to be at Matt's brother's house by 9:00am (sorry family.  That stench was coming from us.)

4. Never put Matt on the spot for photos.  When he gets embarrassed it makes me giggle.  Thus the several photos were we look a tad awkward.  (sorry Barbara, we will practice being better subjects!)

Lastly...

5. A big round of applause goes out to Michelle and Barbara - for making us take the photos and putting together this little photo collage so we can remember this snapshot in time.  

We love you guys!

Red-Headed Step Children

I've blogged about Baby B, Gabby and Bruiser so its only fair I write about our oldest family members - Mossi, aka Mushy Cat and Kika, aka Kika Jones

You are probably wondering why I've titled this blog "Red-Headed Step Children?" Well, this is probably how out cats refer to themselves. Let me explain.

Back before we got Gabby, Mossi and Kika had run of the house and all of our attention. They would lounge everywhere and get attention from everyone who came to visit. Kika and Mossi were Queens of the Castle. And then the dreaded dog appeared, the gate went up and now there are skirmishes for "no man's land."

When we brought Gabby home, had this dream that Mossi and Gabby would be best of friends. They are both really sweet personalities and of course, my favorites. Kika I knew would always have a problem. She's daddy's little girl. Actually she's any man's little girl. Always has been.

Well as you can imagine and to my disappointment, dogs and cats have not had much interaction. The occasional chase is about it. The cats mostly lounge around in the office and occasionally in the bedroom. (This will of course change once we are in the house with the baby)

Maybe the dogs see the crazy quirks that our cats possess and just can't be friends...

Some quirks of Mossi: she loves to follow me to the bathroom. I'll be in there and she'll be rubbing up against me the whole time expecting me to pet her when all I really want to do is concentrate on what I'm trying to do :-). Another little quirk, she rubs up against you and then throws herself on the ground and in essence does a ground pound (seriously, the floor rattles) and sticks her feet in the air. Crazy little cat. :-)

Some quirks of Kika: she will sit on top of the key board while Matt is trying to work and try to get Matt's attention - thus driving him absolutely crazy, especially when she changes the font or closes his program. Her other quirk. She will be purring and happy one minute and then turn around and rip your finger off the next with her razor sharp teeth. Matt calls it a love bite. I call it crazy.

I always tell people they can take my cats when ever someone brings up wanting to own a cat, but the truth is, I would be really sad if we didn't have them. They really do add so much to our crazy zoo and I'm sure one day soon Gabby and Mossi will be the best of friends. Who knows maybe we'll all one day tune into Animal Planet to watch their reality show... maybe Kika Jones can be their agent and Bruiser will be the body guard. :-)

Mossi

Kika

Thank You

For those lucky few of you who check our blog religiously everyday - you will be treated to not one but TWO blogs. That's right. Two blogs.

But first I must turn the spotlight on my two friends from back in the day. I wish I could say I've known these ladies since diapers, but that's not the case. How about...I've known these ladies since Tamura Tigers and/or Fulton Falcon days? Ahh the good ol' days!

Anyway, I digress yet again... I would like to thank Shawn Eldridge - Law School Student Extraordinaire and Jennifer Wright - Law Student Graduate Extraordinaire. These two lovely ladies each got me the sweetest gift.

Shawn - who of course - would somehow intertwine humor into her gift, gave me two WHITE Loyola Law School t-Shirts (size Medium) and specifically wrote in her card that I will be able to use them post-pregnancy. Well Shawn, I will gladly take a picture, holding Baby B in my WHITE t-shirts with a large spit up stain on them - just for you.

Seriously though, thanks for the gift. You are an AWESOME friend!!!! :-)

Jen - gave me my first official baby gift. She got me the cutest blue picture frame for our first picture of Baby B. I think the only way I can place any kind of photo in that special frame would be to have her holding her "nephew" Baby B (and maybe me in the background with the white spit-up shirt on). Thanks so much for the gift. It really means a lot to me! I also love the wrapping job (insert inside joke here), you will have to tell me exactly where you bought that paper!

You guys both rock and I just wanted to say again, thank you so much for taking time out of your busy, law filled days, and cheering a prego friend right up!

Love A & your nephew Baby B :-)

Bruiser

The time has come for me to write about our adopted dog - Bruiser.  He is fondly known in our family as: Bruiser, Bruisy, Boo Boo, Zoo Zoo, Zoo Zee Zoozerman (don't ask), Little Man Boy and many other names that I seem to come up with.  Of course Matt pretty much calls him Bruiser but I've always given my pets little nicknames.  I can't help it.  I can pretty much look at them and bam, they have some wacky nickname.

Back to Bruiser - We adopted Bruiser about a year ago this May.  I'll be honest, I wasn't so sure about him with the kitties and Gabby but he fit right in.  He's so cute and loveable.  I can't imagine not having him in our family.

Bruiser's quirks: He likes to sleep and show us his stomach at every opportunity he can.  (Matt wanted to put little choneys on him at one point!).  At night, he runs to his kennel for bed like its a marathon.  And in the morning, he's completely covered by his blanket and usually his little butt is hanging out.  Super cute!  He also has this little high-pitched yawn that you would think a dog of his size would not be able to make, but its definitely coming from him!

We love ya Bruiser and are so glad you are here.

Hmmm...maybe that's how we got pregnant.  You know what they say about adoptions... :-)

Its A Boy!

Get your cigars ready!  We're having a boy!  Just found out yesterday morning.  (Sorry to lag on bringing the news everyone)

So what we do know is that he's a boy.  He fairly active (you can actually see little pokes if you look at my stomach now - Matt just got to feel his first kicks two minutes ago!) and so far all his genetic tests came back normal.  So he seems to be happy and healthy.

I've noticed he does kick around a lot when I eat spicy salsa, ice cream and when I'm happy or laughing.  Its kinda of cute.  I had no idea that little babies could tell these things but I guess it does make sense...

Well I'll be quiet now and let the pics talk for themselves.  

Baby Boyaner 20 1/2 weeks: Can you see the goods? :-)

Baby Boyaner 20 1/2 weeks: Here he is on his back with his arms and legs raised to the sky.

Baby Boyaner 20 1/2 weeks: Here he is with his arms and legs raised to the sky again.

Baby Boyaner 20 1/2 weeks: Here he is looking at us.